ooh mommas in a bad mood.

ah well today was rather lame. i didn't really do all that much at lunch. the highlight of my day is when james decided to buy a trident! haha it was so amazing. we threw it at random people, i was rather satisfied. at one point i bought a danish and i must say, it was rather orgasmic.

so uh, tonight i'm supposed to be seeing the juntion with jenna but my sources tell me its cancelled! ah i was so excited too. hmm and then my cool new friend tony or as i like to call him, toe-knee wanted to see a movie but i didn't go so that i could see the juntion, i feel so bad.

wow, i am eating the greatest cereal of all time. its like oats and such, but it's seriously amazing. you'll have to excuse me, i'm just a little excited about it right now.

hmm, last night i was talking to my friend jay and he was saying how he doesn't understand why we haven't been hanging out but yet he seems to blow me off everytime. the last time we were supposed to hang out was on a monday but then he told me that he had to "hang out with his mom" because he hadn't seen her in so long. which i don't understand because he told me that he lived with her a while ago...but whatever. so since that day i hadn't talked to him for a while so i was going to drop him a comment on myspace but then i see the last one recieved and it was from his ex-girlfriend lisa. and it said something like "jay i had so much fun today, we should really hang out more often." and so i looked at the date and it was from that monday. i must say i was rather annoyed at him for doing that. well, not only was i annoyed but i was also pretty hurt because i was starting to find that i liked him. but whatever, i totally knew it was coming anyways. this seriously happens with every guy. i've pretty much stopped talking to him, but you have your odd day, such as last night.

oh man, that reminds me. at lunch, i was walking back with jenna and i saw this guy jeff that i used to like so much. we were totally walking behind him the whole time and i just felt so awkward. i have never been lead on so badly in my life, although jay does come to a close second. jeff totally broke me. i'm now super neurotic when it comes to guys. the sad thing is, he always tells me about all the girls in his life even though he knows i don't care to hear it. i'm totally over him now, it's just seeing him up so close brought back some memories.

why does it seem to be that i always want what i can't have? sometimes i wish i was just a little older, maybe then i could get the guy i want. right now there's someone but he's older than me by quite a few years. to him i'm just a kid. i suppose that's alright, i know nothing would happen anyways. it's just, he tells me about all these girls that are totally shitty to him and it makes me feel bad. i just think that if maybe we were the same age, we could be together and maybe even be happy. because i know that i would never do anything like that to him. well, even if we just talk that's fine. any company of his is good enough